We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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