going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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