You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i think im in europe. pls send help
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
