On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
