I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I need to calm my uterus...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize