so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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