Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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