I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
