White coat. Heels.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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