dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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