I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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