and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
