you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
