nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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