alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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