Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
