just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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