Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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