You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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