i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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