She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
