it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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