24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
