Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
