Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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