I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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