Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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