you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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