She announced her abortion via fbk
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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