Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
