i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
