What tipped you off? The sombrero?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
