omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
