PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
