There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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