His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
