i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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