I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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