If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
