i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
