I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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