in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
