ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
