I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
