woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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