i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
