I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize