Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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