I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
