all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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