why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
