What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
