I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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