So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize