people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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