i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm gonna fight the coyote
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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