she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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