This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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