I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
