you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
