so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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