I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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